A few weeks ago an old friend of mine called me, we hadn’t spoken for a while and seriously I was quite surprised she still had my number. After the usual chitchat, followed by that awkward silence, I was ready to hang up but then she let out this deep sigh pregnant with sadness. Immediately I was compelled to hold on, I waited patiently not wanting to be rude or pushy, I could tell that she was contemplating letting me in or if it was a bad idea calling me altogether. I still held on, after a few seconds I asked “are you ok?”, “is everything alright?” she sighed again sadly and asked
“How do you know if your relationship is over?” I stayed silent partially because I wasn’t sure if the question was directed at me and also because I was caught in my own web of thoughts.
The thing is she had asked me the very same question I’d asked myself once upon a time. A simple question but with it is the weight of your world.
We are social beings, no matter how we love our alone time; we still seek the interaction of others especially those of the opposite sex.
First things to get out of the way, I’m not a psychologist but I have passed through certain experiences in life that I have learnt from and would also want to share with you. I am not going to speak in clinical terms or throw big hypothesis at you. I’m just going to speak from my heart as the spirit leads.
So how do you know your relationship is over?
Are you guys communicating?
Do you guys talk about everything? I don’t mean do you guys argue? Or does he/she bark questions at you and you answer?
I mean do you guys sincerely talk to each other about your feelings, do you listen while he’s talking to you? Not daydreaming about when scandal is on so you can get to see Olivia Pope in her new jacket. Does he listen to you when you’re trying to tell him how horrible your day was, that was why you walked through the door with a frown on your face?
Communicating with each other is the key to any successful relationship be it boy/girl, girl/girl, boy/boy, parent/child etc.
If you both are failing to communicate, distance sets in and you guys are heading for a pitfall.
Communicate even if you don’t feel like it, make a day in the week for you and your loved one to talk about your feelings and where your relationship is headed and please don’t talk about these things on date night. Date night is the time to get your sexy on.
Are you guys fighting over nothing and everything?
This isn’t the play fight where you are smacking each other lightly on the ass or playfully boxing him under the sheets so you can get his attention. I’m talking full on “call of duty”; he’s attacking you, you’re attacking him, words that cut deep. You fight about who left a plate in the sink, why is the bathroom floor wet? Why is the spaghetti soggy? You know I don’t like when your shoes are not kept in a straight line, why did you sigh as you walked into the room, you forgot to call me this morning, why didn’t you kiss me good night? When you guys are fighting over the littlest of things, it’s time to stop and revaluate your relationship.
Is he/she cheating on you?
Honey if this is happening, then I think your relationship has hit the rocks. No one is ever in love with two people at the same time. So if your honey is getting horny on someone else’s honey pot then it’s time to say bye-bye.
Being in love and in a failing relationship is the worst feeling ever, but I tell you the truth, it is best to have one massive heart break now and get over it in 6 months if not less; than to have your heart broken everyday in a loveless relationship.
Plus, I’m always here…..